10 WAYS TO EFFECTIVELY DISCIPLINE YOUR CHILD
SET BOUNDARIES…EARLY
Boundaries should be set when your child is a toddler. If you failed to do this or have let things slip, then it is time for a sit down with your child. Explain in an age appropriate fashion that things are about to change and give reasons as to why.
LEARN THE MOTIVE FOR THE BEHAVIOUR
Try to understand the reason for your child’s conduct.
What has made you so upset?
What are you feeling at the moment?
KEEP THEM CLOSE WHEN THEY ARE ANGRY
Sending your child to their room to cool off says’ I can’t cope, you are own your own, I don’t know how to help you deal with these powerful emotions’.
USE A CALM BUT FIRM VOICE
Not easy when you have been driven to distraction, but remember they are watching you! Whatever your response they will accept it as the correct one and follow suit. Have a hissy fit, so will they when they lose their temper.
CATCH THEM BEING GOOD
Praise their successes, yes even the small ones. Not doing anything good – then create them a task you know they can complete and praise them for a job well done.
DON’T SAY NO, REDIRECT THEM
NO is a command. Instead show them what they can do rather than admonish them for what they can’t. Focusing on solutions instead of punishment helps in positive discipline.
OFFER THEM PRODUCTIVE WAYS TO GET ATTENTION
Many children only feel secure when they have your attention. Tell them ‘I need your help with this”. You may be pressed for time and need them to get dressed, or clear away the breakfast things, get your keys etc. Your child will feel more significant when they are contributing, they feel capable.
DON’T FORGET TO GIVER YOUR CHILD A VOICE.
Children need to feel heard and its healthy for them to have a say 20 minutes a week to put their case…perhaps they want to adjust rules or boundaries. This encourages buy in and improves reasoning skills and teaches negotiation.
BE PREPARED FOR TROUBLE
Identify the danger times, plan ahead. If you know they are going to have difficulty behaving in a given situation a brief chat beforehand might help, you could discuss alternative strategies to getting angry.
AND FINALLY…
When you are dealing with new behaviours it is normal for your child to take two steps forward and one back. They may be a dream child today and a little horror tomorrow.
Consistent discipline is the key to helping them progress. Compliment good behaviour and when they are having a bad day accept that they are going to need more practice.
It is essential that you are a good role model. If you are served badly in a shop and have a mini tantrum, have a hissy fit when your coffee order is wrong and don’t treat others with respect don’t be surprised that your loved one follows suit.
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