Children are not equipped to deal with certain situations which may occur at home, or at school which may result in anxiety and behavioural problems. These are mainly caused by poor coping strategies in reaction to their circumstances at home, or in some cases caused by their own development and abilities. The impact of the child’s behaviour can substantially affect their siblings, parents, classmates and teachers. I am seeing the impact on siblings increasingly raised as a concern, particularly when the siblings are facing their own challenges.
We can agree that there are certain children who may not have the mindset or initiative to develop their coping strategies, such as:
- A child with an absent parent
- A child with special needs
- A child with speech and language problems
- A child with behavioural problems or a child who has experienced trauma from domestic violence or other issues in the family.
I have met children who try to control their environment and others around them. They have tried to dominate others and prevent their classmates from making friendships. The child will often lash out (verbally or physically) when they feel the need to be in a state of control. The ramification of these problems means that I have worked with many children who suffer from anxiety and behavioural problems.
It is difficult to get children who have problems to open up and discuss them. Our NLP4Kids Practitioners take time to ensure that they have built up a trusting connection with a child, this may be achieved through the sessions by a more casual chat and games. As the sessions progress, the Practitioner can begin to talk to the child about the issues they faced at home and at school. Some of the children are vulnerable because of their circumstances at home, others because their physical needs prevent them from developing at the speed and ease as others. Their financial, religious or geographic backgrounds all differ.
In using NLP with a child under such circumstances, the classroom will be calmer and the family environment may become easier to deal with. The effect on who they are within society in the future will take a different direction to the one they are currently set to take.
An outcome of helping a child to manage anxiety and behaviour is that they will find it much easier to face up to challenges later on. This will make them much more resilient and able to get through difficulties. They will be more perseverant when they face setbacks which will equip them better for the future. It means that they will be less likely to give up on education, that they will look upon challenges as opportunities and progress themselves more meaning they will have a healthier state of mind as a result.
Currently, in their own way, these children are isolating themselves. For some it is their anxiety and emotional outbursts that cause others to want to keep a safe distance from them. For others it is their behaviour and attitude that make them seem controlling and dominating. They do this to gain a sense of control in a life that otherwise feels like an out of control rollercoaster ride. However, it isn’t the healthiest way to achieve stability and prevents them from achieving a sense of belonging which many of them crave. Their self imposed isolation and lack of engagement with others prevents them achieving the very thing they crave.
With the help of an NLP4Kids Practitioner, these children can instead learn how to control their mindset, their attitude and their emotional state in spite of the circumstances they have in life. This change will make them more appealing to those around them, meaning that they will learn a great deal more about how to forge friendships, manage relationships and how to be active participating citizens who take an active role in crafting out the sort of community they want to live in and be part of.
The original version of this article was written by Gemma Bailey, director of www.NLP4Kids.org. It was republished and rebuilt with additional content by NLP4KIDS PRACTITIONER IAN DAVIES